The above chart might be a funny jab at marriage and the stereotypical  idea that when people get married they become angry sexless bores, but it is also a visual representation of all the things wrong with marriage and how you could hypothetically create a happier one (assuming marriage is an equation, which obviously, it is not). It comes from the book and blog “Spousonomics” by Paula Szuchman and Jenny Anderson, which provides a humorous, but fairly factual look at contemporary marriage and its mathematics.

The “existential dread” included, much of this chart is pretty accurate… married couples do tend to begin concentrating on trivial things and ignoring the important stuff. So how can you use this chart to ensure you don’t find yourself in a Hulu-filled, sexless marriage? By actively working to not let that happen. Many studies have shown that, for example, having sex a couple times a week (even if you’re “not really in the mood”) can improve a couple’s intimacy and relationship.

So what is this chart doing on a dating advice site? Well, it is especially important before you get married that you haven’t already fallen into the marriage-mindset. Dating is supposed to be the most exciting part of a couple’s life together, so as you get into a relationship, keep Spousonomics in mind, and flip that chart upside down!

In a recent OkCupid blog post (yep – there they go again being all perfect and stuff), they detailed some crazy stats about sex and dating in our technology-flooded world. From whether or not people put out on the first date to how often they masturbate, we learned some interesting (and uncomfortable) statistics about the members of OkCupid and the world at large.

The most interesting stat thus far, though, was the one saying that Twitter users are less likely to be in long term relationships. There are so many comparisons it’s impossible to choose just one, but obviously the most important is that it makes sense that people who flock to a website that demands 140 characters or less wouldn’t be looking to put too much work into a relationship!

Furthermore, as OkCupid points out, it’s impossible to know who is the dumper and who is the dumpee, which raises another point: Are frequent tweeters too ADHD to stay in something long-term, or are they just so unbearable that they’re more likely to be dumped earlier on in the relationship? The world may never know…

What do you think? What makes Twitter such a relationship killer?

AshleyMadison is one of the most highly controversial dating sites on the web today. With its motto “Life is short, have an affair,” it shocked and angered married men and women everywhere who couldn’t believe someone would make a living off selling adultery. Interestingly, though, no one ever took the time to see what the site was like before they made a judgment call. Luckily, a reporter at MSNBC decided she was going to get the real deal, by going undercover on AshleyMadison as a married woman looking for an affair. Her findings were very interesting.

The most important thing she learns is that although CEO Noel Biderman claims the site is a place for people lacking “intimacy” in their marriages (re: sex), many of the men on the site are actually looking to forge real bonds with the women they court. Men who write long drawn out paragraphs about themselves and “get excited” to see an e-mail from her.  On the other hand, of course, she meets a few guys who are definitely the exact stencil of what Biderman talked about: men who just aren’t getting laid the way they’d like to in their marriages. More depressingly, she meets men who aren’t bored from years and years of marriage – one guy is a newlywed, another not even married yet.

The common trait in all the men? Boredom. They are bored with their lives, their marriage, their children, their jobs… just bored. So it makes sense that they would stray. They enjoy sharing with her stories that would bore their wives and regale her with tales of their past that their wives have inevitably heard a million times. The most revealing quote from a man she meets sums the whole idea of infidelity up perfectly:

“I love to cook and go to restaurants, watch a bunch of movies, sporting events — you know, all the normal stuff that when done repeatedly would make someone sign up for a site like this.”

So, what does this mean for marriage? Could cheating happen to any of us? I’d say the answer is yes. And although I still cringe at the idea of Noel Biderman, swimming in his pool of money that he made by potentially ruining peoples’ lives, you’ve got to admit he found a niche in a market that hadn’t been conquered yet, and for that you’ve got to give him credit.

Read the incredibly interesting tale of a woman undercover on Ashley Madison at MSNBC.

Searches for “love,” not surprisingly, peak during February, with people likely looking for Valentine’s ideas and ways to spark a little romance in their lives. Searches for “sex” are fairly unseasonal, but do take a bit of a jump during the summer months (we imagine it has to do with all the extra skin we see during the warmth of July). The unfortunate part is where the “rejection” searches peak: right after the “love” ones do. We imagine that although you see a few thousand proposals during this romantic time, the breakups are probably pretty rampant as well, as are the confessions of unrequited love.

So what does that tell us? Perhaps that sex isn’t the “ultimate expression of love” like we imagined as kids? That maybe falling in love is not as likely a direct ticket to Sexville, and more a direct ticket to Misery City? What do you think?

img @ sheknows

They say that love blooms in Spring, but we believe that the best time for dating is in the Fall. The weather changes, the colors of the leaves are gorgeous, and while people are getting out of their relaxed summer mode, they’re still looking to have fun. Fall gives all the singles out there a bunch of great ideas for dating.

1) Try somewhere new

If you were stuck hunting for singles at the same bar all summer, use the change in seasons to switch up your destinations. Coffee shops begin to bustle again as people stop in on their way to work, and red wine no longer sounds disgusting. A tiny wine bar can be your friend!

2) Keep things casual

Although during the colder months we tend to want to dive right into intense romantic relationships, it’s often a surefire way to get your heartbroken. Keep things casual until you know it’s not just the chilly wind keeping you close — you’ve got what it takes to go the distance.

3) Change your dating style

If all summer you used the coy smile in the corner to try and catch a cute single’s attention, maybe switch up your tactics and try being a little more active in your dating life. Instead of waiting for them to approach you, make the first move. The worst that can happen? They can say no.

4) Stay positive

A happy face in a crowd of over-stressed workaholics can be just the breath of fresh air that catches someone’s attention… whenever you’re feeling down, just remember you never know who’s watching!

img @ tresugar

Recently, there have been quite a few reports and studies done that discuss the idea of the “booty-call” relationship, highlighting many aspects, from where it falls on the relationship spectrum, to the benefits and drawbacks of such situation. For the most part, scientists have come to believe that as long as both parties involved agree on the level of emotional commitment, engaging in such a relationship has no real detriment on the capability of each person’s ability to have healthy long-term relationships in the future.

So it got us thinking – what about friends with benefits? A “friends with benefits” agreement is one in which two friends have a casual, non-exclusive sexual relationship and are free to see other people. Unlike the booty call, the relationship goes beyond the bedroom, if only slightly.

If we have come to the conclusion that all booty-call relationships are not completely life-diminishing situations, what about friends with benefits?

We think the main issue that arises is how much sexual compatibility affects attraction. Is it a precursor to emotional desire? Does this vary between men and women? If so, can men and women ever have satisfying friends-with-benefits relationships? Or is one party inclined to become too emotionally entangled? Here is DatePro’s point-counterpoint on a friends with benefits relationship.

Point: Friends with benefits relationships always end with someone getting hurt.

The enjoyable nature of the “booty call” is ingrained in the fact that each encounter is almost exclusively dedicated to sex. Having conversations or hanging out outside the sexual realm is limited if not non-existent, so there is little chance of the two partners ever reaching any emotional level. Therefore, neither party is likely to have their feelings hurt, as they more likely get emotional fulfillment from friends or family. On the other hand, a friends with benefits set-up changes that equilibrium, and now the relationship includes a level of emotional or intellectual compatibility, and the chance that one of the two members will start to have more feelings than the other is more than likely.

Counterpoint: Having a friend with benefits can be fun and fulfilling if both parties remain on the same page.

Being friends with benefits can be even more enjoyable than a “booty call” scenario, as long as there is communication and both parties remain on the same page about the level of the relationship. Whether it be a booty call or a marriage, honest and open communication is key, and what could be more satisfying than a relationship where two people enjoy each others company and share extreme sexual compatibility, but don’t have the issues that ride along with committed relationships, like entitlement, distrust and sexual apathy? If both people can be mature and upfront about their feelings, there is nothing to say that there is any harm in a friends with benefits relationship. “Friends” and “benefits” are both positive words, so why does the relationship have to be negative?

Of course, relationships of any nature differ based on personalities, hang ups, baggage, and beliefs. If you’re a single guy or girl (or just wish you were), tell us what you think about the friends with benefits relationship!

1. Late night ocean adventures

If you’re fortunate enough to live near the ocean (or a lake, or a river, I guess?), you know that during the hottest days of summer it can be packed with kids, families, tourists, and (the worst) teenagers during the hot afternoon hours. However, around dusk the crowds start to dissipate, and it can provide a romantic (and much cooler) spot to spark some romance.

img @ torontospeeddate

2. Ice party

I don’t think much explanation is needed here. Freeze some cubes, pull back the covers, and get busy!

3. Embrace the heat

This may seem like backwards logic, but taking a hot yoga class together will invigorate your senses, cleanse your mind, lower stress and make the air outside seem cooler. Plus, studies have shown that practicing yoga heightens sensuality, intimacy and confidence in bed. And on top of that, men are visual creatures… watching a lady do a downward dog or dancer pose will definitely be a turn on. You may have a hard time even getting back to your apartment ;). And guys — don’t feel awkward taking a yoga class; it’ll improve your strength and flexibility. And the world’s manliest talent agent can do it, so can you!

img @ angryharry

Up until recently, the idea of marital infidelity was almost solely a husband issue — women were seen as the poor victims, making dinner, holding the baby, and crying while her husband galavanted about with his secretary, a neighbor, or even his wife’s friend. However, as women are now out of the house as much (if not more) than men, and are no longer held to some Virgin Mary standard, cheating by wives is far more prevalent.

I don’t know the science on it, but I’m pretty sure, based on the basic map of the male brain, that guys generally cheat because they listened to the wrong head’s signals, if you know what I mean. That might have come out in a harsh, anti-male-sentiment type way, but I mean it in the most genuine of ways: a lapse in judgement, clouded by alcohol or an overly acting burst of testosterone and POOF your dude’s in bed with some fairly average looking chick he met in a dark bar. And while I’m not saying women have a more legitimate reason to cheat, I’m pretty sure we have enough scientific evidence to say that women’s emotions tend to rule over their sexual impulses.

Why do women cheat? An article on ModernGhana sums up to the top six (pretty self-explanatory) reasons:

1. Familiarity has bred indifference

2. You’re leading parallel lives

3. The passion has fizzled

4. The fantasy has fizzled

5. Your ego needs a boost

6. It’s payback time

Furthermore, the article says that 55% of women and 60% of men are likely to cheat… pretty high for both sexes, don’t you think?

Would you cheat if you knew you couldn’t get caught? Do you think your partner has cheated? Let us know what you think!

img @ divinecaroline

Being in a long term relationship can be taxing. Although your S.O. is supposed to be your numero uno companion, you often find yourself wondering when you can get a chance to spend some time with friends, or more importantly, alone. However, not all relationships have to be like this. Instead of falling into the usual traps, you can take the road less traveled (Robert Frost reference) and keep your relationship as fresh as the day you took it out of the box (toy reference).

Here are a few of DatePro’s fail safe freshness tips.

1) Call, don’t text

Cell phones have made it possible to be in contact with each other 24 hours a day, which is great… but also terrible. When you text each other while at work or school, while driving to meet them (don’t do that here in CA, it’s illegal), and before you go to bed, you lose appreciation for what it means to hear from them. Put the phone down, and call when you really want to talk. It’ll make those times that much more special.

2) Surprise, surprise

Presents and tangible gifts are awesome, but thoughtful surprises are a million times better. A nice dinner, ready when they show up, a bottle of their favorite wine left on their doorstep, or flowers sent to work, are a small, inexpensive ways to show them  (now that you aren’t texting 100 times a day) that you care.

3) Sex it up!

Do it! Keep it exciting. Do it different ways, different places, at spontaneous times… If your sex life becomes dull, it’s only a matter of time before your love life goes in the same direction. Sex can be the most exciting part of your relationship — if you just have an open mind!

Remember, if things are stale, you can make significant changes to fix the problems. However, it’s not always fixable. It may be time to move on!

img @ picapp

Emotional baggage is something nearly every person in the world carries — if you have a moment in your past that you are not so keen on discussing but affects your choices day to day, you definitely have emotional baggage. Whether it comes from family issues, bad experiences with friends, or past relationships, any type of issue that prompts you to act in a way that you consider unlike yourself, will very likely affect your next relationship.

So if you find yourself entering a new relationship and know you have emotional baggage weighing you down, it’s time to figure out a way to drop your baggage and move through life more freely.

If you type in “how to get rid of baggage” on Google, though, you’ll come up with a million books written by self help gurus who claim that they have the key to teaching you how to free yourself of emotional baggage. The truth is, the only way to get rid of baggage is to look inside yourself and become aware of the fact that although you’ll never get rid of memories, letting them hold you down instead of build you up and make you a better person is giving into the power of negativity.

Thinking positively, learning from your mistakes, and trusting in your own emotional power to overcome baggage is the only path to freedom. So don’t listen to those who say they have a quick fix, and remember — only you can free yourself from baggage!