First Message

Meeting people and establishing connections online is very similar to doing so in the real world. The first step is the initial physical attraction. Whether this is established by someone catching your eye when your out at a bar or by viewing a profile picture that you find visually appealing, attraction sparks your interest in wanting to know more about that person.  So what do you do when you see someone who you think is attractive? You go talk to them, ask them questions, and interact to see if there is a connection that exists that is beyond skin deep. Online, this interaction and “getting to know each other” phase is done through the messages you send.  When someone sparks your interest online, the next step is to send them a message to let them know that you are interested in finding out more about them.

 

Now, this first message is incredibly important because it is your chance to catch their attention and make a good first impression. I’m sure we have all been in awkward situations where first time conversations completely bombed. Unfortunately this happens quite often. Face to face, it’s easy to be nervous and say the wrong thing or come up with what you think is a witty pickup line, only to fail miserably. The great thing about the initial conversion in online dating is that you don’t have to think on your feet or come up with something original off the top of your head.  Online you get the chance to take your time, do a little research on the person from their profile, and come up with a first message that is well thought out.  Because you are given the time to really think about this initial message, you better take advantage of it and do a little research. Take the time to read through their profile and pick up on a few things that you may have in common or that you find interesting.  With this information, you can easily come up with something clever to write, and the recipient will acknowledge that you took the time to genuinely learn about them.

 

A great first message should break the ice and reel in the intended party. Not too long, not too short, and definitely not the same old thing that every other person has written. Use your creativity and don’t be afraid to let your personality shine through in your content.  When you don’t get to communicate face to face it’s difficult to get a feel for the person’s attitude and personality, so try your best to be real and express yourself in your message. This first message should basically establish the fact that you find the person intriguing for the following reasons and therefore want to open up communication in attempt to find out more about each other. It’s cool to use humor in your message and to tell a little bit about yourself in order to establish why you think there could be a connection.

 

Most importantly, keep them interested. Give just enough info so that they will feel intrigued to know more, but not too much that they will get turned off or creeped out.  Be natural, fun, and light hearted, and your first message should definitely prompt a response :).