Getting Back Together
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Perhaps you ran into her at the grocery store, or maybe you saw him at a mutual friend’s get together. You chat, have a couple drinks, and head home. But maybe you’re thinking, “he sure is looking good these days,” or “she seems to have really matured.” And maybe for the next few days you wonder what it might be like to get back together. Before you pick up the phone and beg for a second chance, ask yourself these questions.
1) Are you lonely?
Lots of times, people mistake the feeling of loneliness for the feeling of desire. Maybe you’ve never really been single before, so you’ve been spending your nights alone and you’re starting to feel a little depressed. This, especially, does not mean that you should go try and win back your ex, in fact it means the opposite, you should be going out and having fun with friends and remembering what it’s like to be single. Whether you’re dating other people or just playing it cool by yourself, it’s better than trying to rekindle a romance that will just set you back another year in your life plan.
2) Have you (or they) changed whatever trait caused you to break up?
If you’re still lazy, or he/she is still a cheater, getting back together is the worst possible idea. Not only will you turn a blind eye for a while, but when you finally decided to notice the flaw again, it will bother 100 fold. Just remember, there is a reason you broke up, and for the most part, that reason is never going to go away.
3) Do you only want them because they are unavailable?
Did you have an irresistable urge to get back together cause you saw them with another person? Is the feeling of “love” that you have actually thinly veiled “jealousy”? Look, you will always have feelings for your ex, and those feelings will generally be expressed at jealousy. Don’t let this get in the way of logical thinking, though. Just as we stated in the previous point, people don’t just break up to break up, there was a reason you stopped seeing each other. Remember that reason the next time you think about rekindling an already failed romance.
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