Online Dating Tips From an Older Woman

Being young in the online dating world can be both a benefit and a disadvantage. While you are more in tune with technology and are probably less likely to be taken advantage of by scammers, there are many, many people in your age group that aren’t looking for anything long-term, and if that’s what you’re looking for, you could get your heartbroken. This is where online dating at a mature adult can be a tad easier – for the most part, those your age are looking for companionship, fun, romance, and love (although this is obviously not 100% the case).

img via thirdage

Of course, this may mean there are different dating rules for seniors – ones that we in younger generations aren’t even aware of . Luckily, Kay Newton at The Huffington Post, who has some knowledge on the subject, offered up some dating rules for older guys on dating sites, from a woman who knows!

Here are her tips (via HuffPo)

1) Do not say: “I’m in a very Dark Place Sexually” or “I can never have Vanilla sex again.” I may have READ 50 Shades of Gray, but it doesn’t mean I want to live it, and you are no Christian Gray! If I am imagining whips and urine, there will be no second date.

2) Keep it upbeat. Do not go into intimate details about the months of suffering before your wife passed away. Do not go on about how you hate your father, how your kid is a drug addict or how your bipolar brother ruined your life. I am excited about the potential of this next phase of my life, and I don’t want to hear that the best is behind you. These details can wait until the third date (assuming there are no other deal breakers).

3) Do not ask over dinner, “should I take my Viagra now?”

4) Don’t be a Wower. If you like the way I look, think poetic, not monosyllabic. Do not repeat, “Wow…” with a big exhale. I may think you are mentally challenged no matter how many degrees from Harvard you have.

5) Do not look at me adoringly and express your desire to “go under the table” at dinner — unless you need to retrieve your napkin.

6) I don’t want to hear ad nauseum about your knowledge of fine wine, luxury cars, or degree from Yale. It’s boring and it makes me think you are insecure.

7) Do not stick your tongue down my throat on the first kiss. If a kiss seems appropriate on the first date, it needs to be soft and gentle. Keep the tongue action for later.

8) Don’t say your dream is to get a Winnebego and go across the country with me.

9) If you have Groupons, Living Social or other coupons to some obscure restaurant or bar, save them for later in the relationship, or use them with your buddies. Don’t whip that coupon out on the first date.

10) If you have a bush growing out of your ear or nose, use the weed whacker before you take me to the theater. I may want to whisper in your ear during the show.

It’s funny, many of these rules would not even occur to the younger generation of online daters… so we appreciate Ms Newton’s intimate knowledge of men’s dating faux pas.

Guys, it’s your turn! What do women do online that turn you off to a second date? Let us know in the comments!