Playing Games

Game playing is an inevitable aspect of most all romantic relationships.  Whether the games are played consciously or unconsciously, they can bring a lot of unnecessary stress, confusion, and drama to relationships.  People play games for a number of reasons but one of the most common is because of the “what if” factor.  “What ifs” exist whether a relationship is just beginning or if it has been established for several years.  There are always going to be unknowns and possibilities that exist, and unfortunately they might not always produce the outcomes that you desire.  However, you can’t live your life in fear of what is or is not going to happen.  If you do, you risk missing out on what is happening in the here and now and you could end up passing on something great.  Embrace the present and live in the moment…your life and relationships will be much more fulfilling if you do so . 

Another reason that people chose to play games is because they want to gain an advantage or get the upper hand in the relationship.  This might work for a while, but in the end, it will only lead to confusion and frustration because you are not being honest and upfront with your feelings.  No matter how hard you might try to tell yourself that you need to act in certain ways or do specific things in order to one up the other person and feel a sense of control in the relationship, you are only fooling yourself.  Sooner or later you wont be able to hide the way that you really feel (no matter what that may be).  It’s important to be honest with yourself and others involved when dealing with the relationships you have.  Always be aware and open with what it is that you want from them.  If you want to have a strictly physical relationship with someone, make sure to establish that and keep the line drawn.  If you want something more emotionally involved, establish that as well, but be upfront about your expectations. 

To sum it up, game players can come off as being insecure because they feel the need to manipulate relationship situations in attempt to shield themselves from becoming vulnerable.  Basically, they put up a wall so that they will never get hurt.  The sad part is that in doing so, they may actually be harming themselves more than they know.  Games are not in your best interest because they take away from establishing upfront and honest relationships, they don’t allow you to be yourself, and they ruin yours and others abilities to accurately judge relationship situations.  No more game playing!

This advice in no way means that you need to wear your heart on your sleeve or become an open book in relationships. However, it might be wise to continually asses your feelings and expectations in order to make sure that you are being honest with yourself and the individual(s) involved.  This will ensure that you are always seeing eye to eye and getting the most out of your relationships.