Stay Friends?

It’s always difficult to know how to act towards an ex after you break up. When you are used to being so involved in someone’s life, it’s a serious challenge knowing where and how you fit in it post break up. As great as it would be to effortlessly jump from a romantic relationship into a platonic friendship with your ex, this never happens without complications. When deciding whether to remain friends or just burn your bridges, you need to consider several critical issues.

First of all, how did the break up go down? Was is a mutual thing or was it a one-sided decision? Did the two of you simply grow apart and want different things or did someone make a mistake that was unforgivable? Unfortunately, relationships are complicated and breakups even more so. No two breakups are ever the same, that’s why there is never one “correct” way to approach your ex. For example, if your relationship ended because you cheated on your significant other, then they will probably have a lot of animosity towards you and will want to cut you out of their life. On the other hand, if your relationship slowly fizzled and you mutually agreed to to break up, then the whole friendship thing might be a plausible option.

The best approach is to feel out the situation and realistically determine where you stand in terms of your feelings and emotions. In most breakup situations, it takes time to heal any hurt, confusion, or frustration that you or your ex may be experiencing. There is rarely a clean break when it comes to ending relationships and it’s never easy to let go of someone that was a prevalent part of your life. However, it’s important to be honest with yourself and figure out what you truly want to gain or lose from the breakup. If you think you could have a future with this person but the timing is just off, then it might be wise for you to try and maintain a friendship with them just in case something were to develop later on. On the other hand, if you honestly know you have no feelings left for this person and are totally checked out, it might be best to make the cleanest cut possible and burn the bridge, at least for the time being.

When a relationship ends, it is rarely completely mutual; one person is likely to want something more or different than the other. This is where things can get complicated because if one person wants a friendship but the other wants more, someone is likely to be misled. As hard as it may be to walk away from someone you loved or cared greatly for, sometimes that is the best possible thing you can do. In order for people to heal, grow, and move on from a break up, time and space is essential. While you may feel that you are burning a bridge, in reality you are just putting your and your ex’s best interest at heart by choosing to let time take its course. Down the road, you may be able to establish a friendship with this person again, and this time it wont be flooded with confusing emotions.

Whatever choice you make, whether it be to remain friends or to burn bridges, just remember that life has a time and place for everything. Whether you are aware of it or not, when someone leaves your life it is because another opportunity is entering it. Always be honest and upfront with your feelings and make the best possible decision for the future of both yourself and your ex.