Anyway, her article raises an interesting question that is shockingly under-analyzed: what role does Facebook play in modern relationships? We’ve already discussed the fact that it can be the demise of a relationship and that it is now cited in 33% of divorce case hearings, but on the other hand, can it be the grounds for a new relationship?

Tobi’s article talks about the pleasantries of sharing your relationship openly through photos and public postings on peoples’ walls, and the ease of chatting and messaging while in the midst of a busy lifestyle. However, the relationship she uses as an example is between two Christian young adults who met at a music festival and then communicated via Facebook until moving near each other and then getting married two months later. This, of course, is not how most secular relationships work out. People want to know they are sexually compatible and usually live together for months before tying the knot. In such cases as that, carrying on a relationship via Facebook might not be the best way to forge a bond.

We would say that although Facebook permeates every corner of our lives these days, starting a relationships via the social networking site might not give couples the opportunity to create the real in-person bond that a relationships needs. How does online dating differ? Its main purpose is to create offline connections. One could potentially carry on a relationship on Facebook for months just by interacting via commenting and chatting (and that’s where the married folk get in trouble).

What do you think? Is Facebook a viable platform to meet and court a new mate? Or should new relationships take place face-to-face?

via newhomesbolton.ca

I realized that the world was becoming more progressive when my mother, a devout Spanish Catholic, said that it was a “smart idea” for a boyfriend and I to move in together before we started talking about marriage. Of course I already knew that, and we had plans to move in together anyway, but it was a shock to hear it from my mother, who I assumed thought I was still a innocent virgin who had never even seen a boy’s bed.

So it was only a bit of a shock to me this morning when I read that 92% of British newlyweds already live together. This number is a stark contrast to 25 years ago, when only 10% of couples cohabited before getting married. This information was discovered from a poll by eHarmony.co.uk. Dr. Gian Gonzaga, Director of Research & Development at the company, said of the results:

“Whilst a lot has changed in the journey couples take to marriage, one thing remains true. It is important to take the time to understand if you and your partner will be compatible across the long haul.”

The survey compiled a few other stats that were fairly interesting, including that half of newlyweds had spent time “on a break” before getting married, and that more than a third were already raising a child together before marriage. This is far different than 25 years ago, when only 20% had ever broken up before getting married, and a minuscule 9% that had a child before getting married.

These numbers show many things, one being of course Gr. Gonzaga’s conclusion, that people are taking the time to prepare and ensure they are ready for marriage, but also that we as a whole might becoming more progressive about sex and relationships! Here’s to fingers being crossed that this trend can help us stem the flow of teen pregnancies, divorces, and child neglect.

What do you think? Would you prefer to live with a boyfriend or girlfriend before marriage, or would you rather wait until you are officially husband and wife?

Via Googlenews

Just like there are some brilliant people who just “don’t test well,” apparently there are people who would make great significant others but just don’t have the time or the online communication skills to lock down a dating in the new millennium. According to Jezebel, there is a Craigslist ad floating around that offers a position for a “Virtual Dating Assistant,” someone who will take on individual single clients and write a profile, headline, and e-mails for them. The ad is as follows:

Virtual Dating Assistant (U.S.)

My business is growing and I need help creating male and female internet dating profiles, headlines, tag lines, and writing emails to women that clients are interested in. My clients are 28-62, professionals – so no PUA.

Each profile would be custom – I’ll send you a written summary.

Emails have to be customized to the person (no create, copy and paste emails that are sent to all) and targeted to get positive responses.

Profiles and emails have to be a combination of fun and professional.

Completed profiles are 300-350 words, and emails 30-75 words.

I would need a fast turnaround – the longest is 48 hours for each profile and every 10 emails. Writing has to be good -when emails get a positive reponse then bonuses maybe paid (TBD).

PLEASE READ – WON’T BE CONSIDERED UNLESS THIS PIECE IS INCLUDED. For consideration, SEND a sample of an email that you would consider writing to a woman.Writing for internet dating is different than magazines, publications, etc. so someone with previous virtual dating assistant experience preferred.This is similar to ghost writing as email needs to sound like the client’s profile.

The better and faster someone is – the more work s/he will get.

Confidentiality agreement and 1099 will be completed before start of assignments.

We wonder how well a system like this could work out without the client and the dating assistant working very closely. How could you possibly convey someone else’s personality without talking to them for several hours? And if that’s not a priority, how would one transition into a real date? “Hi, my name is Tim and I have never had a conversation with you until now so please please don’t actually ask me anything that we’ve talked about k?” That sounds like the beginnings of a VERY successful relationship, right?

Would you be someone’s Virtual Dating Assistant? Or, more importantly, would you let someone else write your profile and messages to a potential date?

We got to thinking about it, and it makes sense. There is a reason that so many dating profiles say they’re looking for someone with a great sense of humor. Or why guys who otherwise might not be given a second glance become sex symbols because they are just so funny you’re drawn to them.

But we got to thinking, once you’re in a relationship, why is laughter so important?

We thought of a couple reasons:

1) Gives you something in common

We’ve all been around the couple that constantly makes little inside jokes together. It’s almost irritating because you’re like, “why can’t I be involved?!” However, these kinds of small inside jokes can help to keep a couple bonded and close.

2) Gets you through tough times

Remember when SNL wasn’t sure if they were going to air the week after 9/11? And then they decided to? And it was great, because people were able to laugh despite a horrible tragedy having just happened? At an obviously much smaller scale, that’s what laughter can be to your relationship. The good times can be made better with a funny joke, but the bad times can be improved with a laugh as well.

3) Builds trust

Laughter releases endorphins and the hormone oxytocin, naturally occuring chemicals which relieve stress and give the laugher a feeling of well-being and belonging. A great relationship full of laughter will keep the couple happy and close for a lifetime.

Read more about the importance of laughter in a relationship at PicktheBrain.com.

img @ nydailynews

We all know the feeling of walking into a crowded bar or club and instantly thinking, damn, this place is a sausage (or clam?) fest. Too many dudes or too many chicks; a crappy ratio of sexes at a nightlife spot can be downright discouraging. Interestingly enough, the tool that may stop us from ever making those mistakes again has been in our palms for months: the Foursquare app for smart phones!

Apparently, a brilliant site called RatioFinder has started collecting data for the single masses (so far only in New York and San Francisco) to help tech-savvy singles find the spot where they have the best chance of meeting a potential date! With an easy-to-use map, they show with either a pink or blue circle whether there are more women or men checked into a place (or no circle for the Ghost-town establishments).

Gone are the days of wandering blindly into a club, paying a cover, and then realizing that its population is 80% dude, or planning to scope out hotties at a coffee shop only to find out its a bachelorette party breakfast going on.

I’ve been avoiding Foursquare like the plague, but if this site comes to San Diego (DatePro’s home base), I may just have to jump on the bandwagon after all…

img @baltimoresun

A couple days ago, reader Hailey read “Who gets to keep the friends?” and asked the question… what happens when one of your friends starts dating your ex? How do you handle it? And if you’re the friend in the situation, is it ever okay to date your friends’ ex?

Let’s start at the end and work our way up:

Is it okay to date a friend’s ex?

Answer: No answer.

As much as we’d like to say, no! Never! You may never date a friend’s ex! The honest truth is that (the old adage is true) the heart wants what the heart wants.Or should we say, the brain wants what the brain wants.

However, though the brain is an organ, when it comes to emotions, it is unlike the others, in that you do have some control over it. For the sake of your friendship, we’d say that there are 6 billion people on the planet, maybe you should avoid someone who’s seen your friend naked.

So, we’d say there are many factors determining whether or not it’s okay. How close are you with your friend? How long has it been since the break up? Was the break up amicable? All of these things should be taken into consideration before indulging in a fling (or relationship) with a friend’s ex.

How should you handle a friend starting to date your ex?

Answer: With grace.

While your initial reaction may be to fly off the handle and call your friend a string of expletives, take a step back, take a deep breath, and look at it from a less-biased point of view: we are living in a perpetual coincidence.

The fact that you two dated: coincidence.

The fact that you and your friend met? Coincidence.

Had one of those events never happened, your friend and your ex dating wouldn’t have been a drop in the bucket. Of course, if you see the two of them at a romantic dinner 2 days after the Big Event, you’ve got every right to be hurt, confused, and angry. However, if your friend and your ex happen to reunite and fall for each other, hey…. statute of limitations. There’s really nothing you can do, so you might as well move on and be happy for them. “Be the bigger man,” “don’t cry over spilt milk,” etc. etc. etc.

Hope this helps, Hailey, and good luck!

img @ lymenaide

As Americans, we live pretty indulgent lives. We’re very impatient, and usually demand instant gratification. As a rule, we are viewed as fat and lazy and a little selfish. There’s not really much one can do to change that perception, but you can make changes in your daily life that will help you become a healthier, happier, and more attractive. One way to do that is to cut back, on many aspects that we take for granted.

1) Eating

Food and water are requirements, of course, but the way we eat is definitely optional. In his book, In Defense of Food, Michael Pollan gives great tips on how to eat healthily without forgoing delicious food, or ever setting food in the freezer section.

2) Alcohol

Happy Hour should be a treat, something you look forward to after a long week at work or on holidays. Once tossing back drinks loses its “hey, this is fun” appeal and becomes an everyday thing, you know you’re drinking too much.

3) TV

TV is awesome, and some  shows genuinely supplement our lives. Even so, it’s gotten to the point where upwards of 4 hours a day are spent sitting on our couches, when there are so many things in the world to be doing. Cutting back on television will allow you the time to do so much more.

4) Time with friends

We’ve all gotten so used to being constantly entertained and engaged that we’ve forgotten the joys of being alone. Although being surrounded by loved ones is great, taking time to be alone and completely at one with your thoughts is a great way to calm yourself.

5) Spending money

If you’re reading this, you’re probably better off that most of the world’s population. Spending money is your reward for working hard, but sometimes it’s nice to give money to those less fortunate than you. Giving to charity, a family member in need, or even just starting a savings account are all ways that you can show some self-control.

img @ popsugar

It’s often assumed that all young girls dream of someday being proposed to in a grand, magnificent gesture, but this actually isn’t always true. While of course the idea that a man you love would take the time and effort to create something memorable for such a big moment in your life is a great feeling, it doesn’t change the fact that some women would prefer a quiet, romantic, and private proposal instead. So if you’re considering a public proposal, first ask yourself…

• Is she a shy, introverted person?
• Does she get uncomfortable in large crowds?
• Does she tend to keep most parts of her life private?
• Has she ever mentioned that she doesn’t want a big wedding?

If you answered yes to any of these, you may want to reconsider your grand public proposal. There are many ways to create a romantic proposal that doesn’t make her feel exploited or uncomfortable, such as making a romantic candlelit dinner at home, or while on a hike through the mountains at sunset.

Just keep in mind, the proposal is about her, and if one of her main personality traits is shyness, a public proposal could be a disaster!

Apparently we’re not doing enough for our moms, wives and girlfriends these days, guys, cause they’re feeling under appreciated enough to show up in record numbers to the website AshleyMadison.com, who’s mantra is “Life is Short, Have an Affair.”

According to the site, although a normal Monday will attract 3,000 new women, the day following Mother’s Day Sunday saw a 24,000 member increase, and Noel Biderman, founder of AshleyMadison, says they expect even more throughout the following week. The only day that sees even remotely close numbers to these is the day after Valentine’s Day, which seems to be clear proof that women have higher expectations of their mates and children on these holidays: expectations that aren’t being fulfilled.

Although there’s not really a scientific way to prove it, it seems, based on these numbers, that women tend to cheat when they feel emotionally neglected, whereas men tend to cheat when they feel physically neglected.

The only way to handle this problem, we think, is to ensure that in your relationship you maintain a healthy amount of romance, emotional availability, and sexual activity so that these annual holidays no longer act as “makeup” days, where you have to redeem yourself for a year of neglect.

Doesn’t seem to difficult, now does it?

Full story at WGN tv.

img @ tvspain

You know the feeling when you’re out with your friends, and there’s just one in the group who catches your eye more than usual? Maybe you’ve known each other for years but you suddenly realized you want more than friendship between the two of you? Or perhaps you’ve been in love with them since day one, but nothing ever happened between you? This, as you know, is the friend zone. It’s boring and exciting at the same time cause you’re constantly wondering if they feel the same was as you. You’ve got to get out of this torture somehow, so why not give it a chance and try to make your friendship something more? Here are some methods that might help you get out of the friendzone.

1) Stop using friendly terms- buddy, friend, dude, man… al of these are terms you use with friends, and if you’re trying to be more than friends, this is the first step to showing them you’re tired of being platonic.

2) Get dressed! Instead of strolling out of the house in last nights makeup or sweatpants, take the time to get ready and show your best side. Maybe they’ll take a second glance this time!

3) Date other people! Instead of concentrating all your brain power on this one person, get out there and meet other people, maybe give online dating a whirl on sites like metrodate.com. Perhaps when your friend sees you getting cozy with someone else, they’ll wonder what they were waiting for!

4) Don’t go overboard. There is no reason to become someone you’re not just to impress them. In reality, you might just like them because they’re “off limits”

5) Ask them out already! Continually flirting and dreaming of being together isn’t going to get things done. On one hand, you could be missing out on moments to spend together. On the other hand, you might be barking up the wrong tree!