We’ve been seeing a lot of blame passed around recently – with the WhatsYourPrice prostitution case to the  Match.com sexual assault scandal and then the (not so much) investigation into the PlentyofFish site murder. Once again we see a divide between personal self-control and whether or not a website is facilitating adultery with the Gather.com article about Manhunt.net, a gay dating site which offers an option to sign up as (or search for) a married man.

Gather makes a legitimate case that although it it ultimately a man’s decision whether or not he will cheat, a site specifically catering to a married man looking for a gay fling might be a very underhanded way of destroying marriages. While Manhunt.net is of course catering a growing niche of men who are realizing their sexuality long after dedicating themselves to woman, and to men looking to deflower a “straight” man, it’s possible that they are doing more damage than good.

All in all, we believe that sites are merely recognizing the same thing that Americans are… that marriage is not as much a necessity as one might think. The difference between a married man cheating with another man and a guy who realizes he’s gay a few years into a relationship and breaking it off, is monumental, and it’s sad to think that men around the world are stuck in sexless marriages because they realize too late that they are attracted to men.

What do you think? Is Manhunt.net to blame for men who cheat on the site? Or should people be held personally responsible for their own actions?

AshleyMadison is one of the most highly controversial dating sites on the web today. With its motto “Life is short, have an affair,” it shocked and angered married men and women everywhere who couldn’t believe someone would make a living off selling adultery. Interestingly, though, no one ever took the time to see what the site was like before they made a judgment call. Luckily, a reporter at MSNBC decided she was going to get the real deal, by going undercover on AshleyMadison as a married woman looking for an affair. Her findings were very interesting.

The most important thing she learns is that although CEO Noel Biderman claims the site is a place for people lacking “intimacy” in their marriages (re: sex), many of the men on the site are actually looking to forge real bonds with the women they court. Men who write long drawn out paragraphs about themselves and “get excited” to see an e-mail from her.  On the other hand, of course, she meets a few guys who are definitely the exact stencil of what Biderman talked about: men who just aren’t getting laid the way they’d like to in their marriages. More depressingly, she meets men who aren’t bored from years and years of marriage – one guy is a newlywed, another not even married yet.

The common trait in all the men? Boredom. They are bored with their lives, their marriage, their children, their jobs… just bored. So it makes sense that they would stray. They enjoy sharing with her stories that would bore their wives and regale her with tales of their past that their wives have inevitably heard a million times. The most revealing quote from a man she meets sums the whole idea of infidelity up perfectly:

“I love to cook and go to restaurants, watch a bunch of movies, sporting events — you know, all the normal stuff that when done repeatedly would make someone sign up for a site like this.”

So, what does this mean for marriage? Could cheating happen to any of us? I’d say the answer is yes. And although I still cringe at the idea of Noel Biderman, swimming in his pool of money that he made by potentially ruining peoples’ lives, you’ve got to admit he found a niche in a market that hadn’t been conquered yet, and for that you’ve got to give him credit.

Read the incredibly interesting tale of a woman undercover on Ashley Madison at MSNBC.

via jezebel

According to a source at Life&Style, the answer is YES – she’s been seeing 24-year-old Jordan McGraw, who has his own celebrity roots as television host Dr. Phil’s son! Perhaps she was looking for someone closer to her own age?

Crystal Harris, the 24 year old woman who became 84-year-old Hugh Hefner’s fiancee a couple months ago after a surprise engagement, has reportedly been carrying on a hush-hush relationship with McGraw, starting when he was a music producer for Organica record label, where Harris is apparently an aspiring recording artist. Sources say he is no longer employed there because he was involved in illicit affairs with some female clients, and one of those just happens to be the future Mrs. Hefner.

Interestingly enough, these reorts come only weeks after Hefner’s ex, Holly Madison, was quoted saying, “Crystal may break Hef’s heart.”

We’re not sure if Holly’s words were a sign of things to come, but according to a rep at Playboy, “Jordan and Crystal have a business relationship.” I guess we’ll all have to see how this plays out.

The site performed a member survey to see when people were most likely accessing the site, and the results showed that over 65% of the members accessed the site during work hours and 23% claim they do while “working from home.” 13% of the sites members are self-employed (the highest percent on the site) and a spokesperson believes there is a good reason for this:

“Those working from home do not have to labour under the scrutinous eyes of their boss, and are therefore more able to visit saucier websites on company time. However, self-employed men and women are also psychologically endowed with traits that make the more likely to stray.

[Plus,] those who can afford to be self-employed have to have had a great deal of success in their professional lives, and we know for a fact that people who succeed in business are more likely to cheat; they usually nurture perfectionism, which makes them more likely to be dissatisfied with their relationships, and are also risk-takers – a behaviour which can aid them to make bold financial decisions, and also one which draws them to the idea of an affair”.

What do you think? Would you be more likely to cheat if you were left to your own devices? Would you trust your partner if they worked from home?

Because nothing makes better television than two white rich dudes with polar opposite opinions, AshleyMadison.com CEO Noel Biderman went on conservative talk show host Mike Huckabee’s show to be interviewed.

The site gained some publicity for their banned Super Bowl ad, which, to be honest, doesn’t really make… any sense, but hey, “all press is good press,” right? So when Biderman was asked to appear on the right-leaning show this past week, the questions of course turned to infidelity and the sites role in making it easier. When asked if the site promotes infidelity, though, Biderman is quoted saying,

“Of course not. People don’t stray because it is easy or convenient. Most stray because they are missing something in their relationship and feel they need or deserve more than their primary partner offers. Providing a service like ours does not make someone more likely to stray any more than increasing the availability of glassware contributes to alcoholism. No report contradicts this finding. On the other hand, putting up barriers and making it difficult to stray has never discouraged infidelity; if anything, it simply makes people want to even more.”

And whether or not AshleyMadison.com explicitly promotes infidelity, with its slogan, “Life is Short, Have an Affair”?

“No, Ashley Madison does not encourage anyone to stray. In fact, if you are having difficulty with your relationship, you should seek counseling. However, if you still feel that you will seek a person other than your partner to fill your unmet needs, then we truly believe that our service is the best place to start.”

Hey, it’s a free country, or so they say. People should be allowed to do what they’d like so long as they are not harming the well-being of anyone else. However, we do have to say that Noel Biderman is profiting successfully from other peoples’ lives being ruined. People tend to throw morals out the window when money is on the line, and this definitely seems to be the case here. Hook up sites, casual dating sites, even Sugar Daddy sites promote a lifestyle that some might consider distasteful. But at least they don’t do it at the expense of another persons’ emotional health.

We’ll have to give Mr. Biderman a big THUMBS DOWN on this one. The least you could do is own up to the fact that you are promoting cheating.

(Check out the banned video below, I GUESS.)

Poor genetics. They must be so tired of everyone blaming them for all the negative aspects for their lives: obesity, tendencies towards addiction, and now sluttiness. Well, okay, not sluttiness, but a propensity for sleeping around, one-night stands, and infidelity, which pretty much sounds worse.

According to scientists, the dopamine receptor gene DRD4, the same gene that predisposes people for risk-taking, can be a significant factor in whether or not people sleep around or cheat. Although they say you can not completely blame the gene, it may be a factor into whether or not people will hold to their vows.

via livescience

So our question – is texting (or more specifically) sexting, the downfall of long-term relationships? With the ease of carrying on racy relationships, with out any real physical contact, and with the ability to permanently strike everything said from the record, are people more likely to cheat?

We believe the answer is a little yes, and a little no. Yes, technology has made it simpler and easier to do just about everything – cheating included. But can we blame the ease and relative discretion of the internet and text messaging? No. People make decisions for themselves. And whether the cheating is bringing someone back from a bar or just keeping communication in stealth mode, cheating would happen.

What do you think – is texting and cheating going to be the downfall of relationships?

img @ angryharry

Up until recently, the idea of marital infidelity was almost solely a husband issue — women were seen as the poor victims, making dinner, holding the baby, and crying while her husband galavanted about with his secretary, a neighbor, or even his wife’s friend. However, as women are now out of the house as much (if not more) than men, and are no longer held to some Virgin Mary standard, cheating by wives is far more prevalent.

I don’t know the science on it, but I’m pretty sure, based on the basic map of the male brain, that guys generally cheat because they listened to the wrong head’s signals, if you know what I mean. That might have come out in a harsh, anti-male-sentiment type way, but I mean it in the most genuine of ways: a lapse in judgement, clouded by alcohol or an overly acting burst of testosterone and POOF your dude’s in bed with some fairly average looking chick he met in a dark bar. And while I’m not saying women have a more legitimate reason to cheat, I’m pretty sure we have enough scientific evidence to say that women’s emotions tend to rule over their sexual impulses.

Why do women cheat? An article on ModernGhana sums up to the top six (pretty self-explanatory) reasons:

1. Familiarity has bred indifference

2. You’re leading parallel lives

3. The passion has fizzled

4. The fantasy has fizzled

5. Your ego needs a boost

6. It’s payback time

Furthermore, the article says that 55% of women and 60% of men are likely to cheat… pretty high for both sexes, don’t you think?

Would you cheat if you knew you couldn’t get caught? Do you think your partner has cheated? Let us know what you think!

Apparently we’re not doing enough for our moms, wives and girlfriends these days, guys, cause they’re feeling under appreciated enough to show up in record numbers to the website AshleyMadison.com, who’s mantra is “Life is Short, Have an Affair.”

According to the site, although a normal Monday will attract 3,000 new women, the day following Mother’s Day Sunday saw a 24,000 member increase, and Noel Biderman, founder of AshleyMadison, says they expect even more throughout the following week. The only day that sees even remotely close numbers to these is the day after Valentine’s Day, which seems to be clear proof that women have higher expectations of their mates and children on these holidays: expectations that aren’t being fulfilled.

Although there’s not really a scientific way to prove it, it seems, based on these numbers, that women tend to cheat when they feel emotionally neglected, whereas men tend to cheat when they feel physically neglected.

The only way to handle this problem, we think, is to ensure that in your relationship you maintain a healthy amount of romance, emotional availability, and sexual activity so that these annual holidays no longer act as “makeup” days, where you have to redeem yourself for a year of neglect.

Doesn’t seem to difficult, now does it?

Full story at WGN tv.

img @ 123life

Although many of DatePro’s articles discuss the difficulties of making long-term relationships work, there are of course, the few strong-willed people who are able to make it work. And while it’s difficult, relationships that stand the test of time (and distance) often come out the other end stronger than ever. Here are a few of the best ways to keep your LDR strong.

1. Be honest

With yourself, and your mate. If you really think you can be faithful and make it work, then go for it. It could be a good chance to experience living a single life without going out and trying to hook up with people. However, if being honest with yourself means you might stray, then a long distance relationship isn’t for you, and that is no strike on your character.

2. Be giving

Remember stamps? Those little paper things you stick on envelopes? Use them. Send small gifts, care packages, letters, anything to remind your mate that you’re thinking of them, and aren’t perusing the pages of AdultFriendFinder looking for someone else.

3. Sex is still an option

While phone sex is often uncomfortable and awkward for some people, the internet has opened tons of ways to communicate sexually with your partner. From Skype to text messaging to Google chat, there is no reason not to keep the spiciness alive.

4. Be trusting

If you always assume your mate is cheating on you, then why shouldn’t they? Trust is one of the most important facets of a relationship, even when it’s long distance, so don’t stress yourself out. It’ll only make things worse.

5. Don’t succumb to temptation

Don’t assume you have to take yourself out of any situation that might tempt you to cheat, because all you’re saying is that you can’t be trusted. Instead, learn to deal with it. You can still talk to attractive members of the opposite sex, but let them know from the get go that you’re in a committed relationship.

read more tips at Glamour