The above chart might be a funny jab at marriage and the stereotypical  idea that when people get married they become angry sexless bores, but it is also a visual representation of all the things wrong with marriage and how you could hypothetically create a happier one (assuming marriage is an equation, which obviously, it is not). It comes from the book and blog “Spousonomics” by Paula Szuchman and Jenny Anderson, which provides a humorous, but fairly factual look at contemporary marriage and its mathematics.

The “existential dread” included, much of this chart is pretty accurate… married couples do tend to begin concentrating on trivial things and ignoring the important stuff. So how can you use this chart to ensure you don’t find yourself in a Hulu-filled, sexless marriage? By actively working to not let that happen. Many studies have shown that, for example, having sex a couple times a week (even if you’re “not really in the mood”) can improve a couple’s intimacy and relationship.

So what is this chart doing on a dating advice site? Well, it is especially important before you get married that you haven’t already fallen into the marriage-mindset. Dating is supposed to be the most exciting part of a couple’s life together, so as you get into a relationship, keep Spousonomics in mind, and flip that chart upside down!

img @ divinecaroline

Being in a long term relationship can be taxing. Although your S.O. is supposed to be your numero uno companion, you often find yourself wondering when you can get a chance to spend some time with friends, or more importantly, alone. However, not all relationships have to be like this. Instead of falling into the usual traps, you can take the road less traveled (Robert Frost reference) and keep your relationship as fresh as the day you took it out of the box (toy reference).

Here are a few of DatePro’s fail safe freshness tips.

1) Call, don’t text

Cell phones have made it possible to be in contact with each other 24 hours a day, which is great… but also terrible. When you text each other while at work or school, while driving to meet them (don’t do that here in CA, it’s illegal), and before you go to bed, you lose appreciation for what it means to hear from them. Put the phone down, and call when you really want to talk. It’ll make those times that much more special.

2) Surprise, surprise

Presents and tangible gifts are awesome, but thoughtful surprises are a million times better. A nice dinner, ready when they show up, a bottle of their favorite wine left on their doorstep, or flowers sent to work, are a small, inexpensive ways to show them  (now that you aren’t texting 100 times a day) that you care.

3) Sex it up!

Do it! Keep it exciting. Do it different ways, different places, at spontaneous times… If your sex life becomes dull, it’s only a matter of time before your love life goes in the same direction. Sex can be the most exciting part of your relationship — if you just have an open mind!

Remember, if things are stale, you can make significant changes to fix the problems. However, it’s not always fixable. It may be time to move on!

img @ wikipedia

Savage Love is a great advice column from the Stranger Newspaper in Seattle, Washington. It’s written by Dan Savage, gay activist and media pundit who is a rather respected journalist in the LGBT community. Mine you, that doesn’t mean that his column is specifically for the gay community, on the contrary, a majority of the letters he receives are from straight men and women.

His advice is usually humorous, insightful, and interesting, and not at all the vanilla-flavored advice that you might read from Ann Landers or Dr. Phil. He gives his readers straight talk and his open minded answers sound honest and realistic.

Recent letters have included a young man interested in rape fantasies, a young woman trying to be better at sex, and a man who caught his girlfriend working for an escort service behind his back. Savage’s responses to each were hilarious and honest (“One of you is going to have to nut/ovum up and get selfish“) and are the type of answers that will help, even if they aren’t exactly what the reader wanted to hear. Like Dr. Phil, minus the stupidity and terrible ego and mustache.

Savage Love is a great column that we hope gets more recognition in the future. Good luck to Dan Savage!

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( Wow. I am really, really proud of that article heading. )

A recent study of unmarried men and women aged 18-29 by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy showed some alarming results about people who are relatively uninformed or straight-out ignorant of the use/function/purpose of contraception and birth control.

• 63% of people were unaware of how birth control works (eh, ok, I somewhat understand this, they are probably mostly men who don’t understand uteruses [uterii?] or estrogen or anything about women)

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A recent study done by the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University probed the minds of the population, asking them exactly which acts meant “having sex.”

Most of the results were as expected… 73% believe receiving oral sex was “having sex,” while 95% were in favor of only penile-vaginal intercourse. Oddly, 89% did not consider it to be sex if the man did not ejaculate, and of course, no mention of female orgasm was mentioned.

The weirdest results, though, were probably those of the older males, of which only 77% believed penile/vaginal penetration to be sex. I am confused and somewhat grossed out. Until I realize that most of them probably didn’t hear/understand the question. Old people, huh? Apparently they haven’t been on SingleFriendFinder recently.

The point that’s important to grasp here is the fact that it’s important to know yourself- what you consider to be sex, how far you’re willing to go on a first date, and the same of your date. While we’re all for casual dating (and the sex that comes with it), keeping by whatever standards or morals you might have will ensure you never have to live with regret.

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Despite the fact that sex is everywhere in the media, there is still a kind of stigma surrounding those who enjoy and take part in casual sex. Whether or not you are okay with the idea of casual dating, there are some reasons why a  sex life (whether you are in a relationship or not) can be good for your health.

1. It improves your immune system

In a recent study, scientists discovered that people who reported having sex twice or so a week reported higher levels of immunoglobulin A, an antibody that can protect the body against sickness, than those who were not having frequent sex.

2. It relieves stress

A healthy sex life has been proven to keep lower blood pressure and improve peoples’ ability to  handle stressful situations.

3. It burns calories

Move over, treadmill! Having sex can burn upwards of 85 calories for every half an hour. While that might not your daily dose of exercise, it’ll at least be a fun way to start the day!

4. It improves your cardiovascular health

While older folks have expressed concern that too much heart-pumping sexual activity might give them a stroke, this is rarely the case, according to English researchers. Out of 914 men that they followed, their frequency of sex was not linked to heart problems. Similarly, studies have shown that a healthy sex life (perhaps one between a couple that met on PrimeSingles) actually reduces the chance of a heart attack in men by almost half!

5. It can reduce prostate cancer risk

This is where it gets interesting. According to the British Journal of Urology, men who reported having five or more ejaculations a week lessened their risk of prostate cancer by a third! We suppose you don’t have to have a sexual partner to reap the benefits of this one, but I’m sure it’s much more fun that way !

Check out more health benefits of sex at WebMD.

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DatePro is dedicated to providing you with no-nonsense, real life dating advice, without all the vague, self-help book stuff that a lot of sites will give you. And now with our lifestyle section, we hope to make a bridge between your single life, and your dating life, to show that in fact you can have both a healthy lifestyle while living in the 21st century dating world.

So, in this section, we’ll describe to you how a healthy lifestyle can actually improve your sex life.

1. Endurance

A healthy dose of cardio in your workout (45 minutes at least 3 times a week) can help you go the distance in the sack, without breaking down in a fit of unsexy gasps for air. While improving your heart health and burning calories, you’ll also improve your performance in, ::ahem:: other heart pumping activities.

2. Strength

An hour on the treadmill might give you the ability to last long between the sheets, but having strength in your upper body, abs, and lower body will give you the amazing new ability to utilize positions you never knew possible. bust out the Kama Sutra book, readers, cause after just a few weeks of resistance training at the gym and you’ll be able to escape the monotony of missionary.

3. Self-Confidence

Everyone knows that the sexier you feel, the better you perform. Eating right, feeling healthy, and looking hot will exponentially increase your self-confidence, giving you the fortitude to enjoy sex more and feel more satisfied afterwards.

It’s no secret that  being sedentary for 12 hours and eating burritos is not exactly an aphrodisiac. However, what you might not have known is that eating healthy and having a nice hard workout can increase endorphins, which are key the enjoyment of better sex! Log onto your favorite dating site (OnlineBootyCall, perhaps), hit the gym, and then reap the benefits of your new healthy lifestyle.

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There have been countless studies done in the past few years that show overwhelming evidence that man is not a monogamous creature by nature. Although we have trained ourselves to believe that there is a “One” who will fulfill us for the rest of our lives, it isn’t exactly realistic to believe this. However, there are also studies showing that man craves companionship. The desire to have a mate to come home to is driven by our fear of being alone, so having a boyfriend or girlfriend is very desirable.

With these new revelations, there are certain couples who believe that an open relationship would fit their lifestyle. An open relationship is one in which the couple stays emotionally committed to each other, while exploring sexual relationships with others. Those who do this successfully claim it has saved their marriages!

Before you engage in an open relationship with your partner, however, you might want to ask yourself a couple questions:

1) Are you sure you shouldn’t just break up?

Sometimes the desire to cheat doesn’t just mean your hormones are acting up, it means you just aren’t attracted to your mate anymore. Perhaps there is someone out there who could satisfy you emotionally and sexually. Don’t stay in a relationship just for comfort. You should still want to have sex with your partner, and if you start sleeping with other people, chances are you’ll find someone out there you really like, and end up breaking up.

2) Are you both secure in your relationship?

If you know that you two are still “in love” but want to have sex outside of the relationship, you should first make sure that jealous instincts won’t kick in and ruin it. The second one of you gets hurt or offended by an extra-marital affair, the open relationship situation will be over.

3) Can you agree on boundaries?

If the two of you decide to indulge in an open relationship, you should set down ground rules that both of you agree on. Will you share your affairs with each other or keep them quiet? How often should you be with each other? Every night? Or is it okay to spend the night somewhere else? Will you participate in threesomes (If so, check out this article: >>> link to bcu article on threesomes)? All of these questions, and more, should be addressed before you decide to begin an open relationship.

Once you’ve decided you’re ready, head over to AshleyMadison.com… it’s a great place to start finding sexy mean and women looking to do exactly what you’re doing… As they say, Life is Short, Have and Affair…

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When the time comes, and it’s time to break up with someone, you must tread lightly. Choosing the appropriate time, place, and method is important, and is highly subjective, but there are certain situations that are, in any situation, wrong.

1.  Right After Sex

Maybe you realized right at climax that you weren’t in love anymore. That doesn’t constitute an excuse to get up, put on your clothes and say “thanks for the two years, but I need to move on.” By waiting until you’re both dressed and not panting heavily anymore, you’ll ensure that they will still have their dignity once you leave.

2. On a major holiday

This meaning their birthday, an anniversary, Valentine’s Day, etc. These holidays are “couple’s” holidays, and if you dump someone on these days, you’re basically scarring them for life. Women, especially, tend to remember breakups like a traumatic childhood memory if they occur on a special day. Be nice and wait a week.

3. In front of their friends or family

Even if you’re out at a bar with friends, and you get into a near-violent argument over your relationship, do not end it while their friends are staring right at you. Not only will you embarrass them, but you are immediately making enemies of 10 of their best friends, something that could end up putting quite a damper on your social life.

4. By ignoring them

The true sign of a coward, breaking up by just ignoring calls and e-mails is bound to backfire. While it might seem easier at first, what will you do when they show up at your house demanding an explanation? You will be forced into the exact confrontation you were trying to avoid, except multiplied by however many days you’ve ignoring them. Get some courage and you will feel better about yourself in the long run.

5. Via phone call, text message, or e-mail

Technology has made our lives easier in just about every aspect of our lives, including the initial asking out on a date. However, the process of breaking up should remain strictly in person. Not only because it would be impersonal and cold-hearted, but because giving your soon-to-be ex the chance to respond thoughtfully and without interruption could eventually reverse the breakup… we’ve all heard people sobbing on the phone, e-mailing suicide notes, and sending a  string of 37 text messages all begging to be taken back. By sitting down and having a legitimate conversation, you will ensure that the person knows you are serious. And in breakups, being firm and serious is of utmost importance.

Follow DatePro’s tips for break up success, and soon you will be free to move on… perhaps to find someone new at Date.com

Urban Dictionary lists approximately 300 definitions of the term “Player.” Of those, about 4 say that it can be a man or a woman. In general, the definition says ” a guy who is sustaining supposedly exclusive relationships with multiple girls simultaneously.”

However, switch the two genders and to most, the word being defined would be “whore.”

The term player, while occasionally used in a negative sense, is often considered impressive. Guys can easily say they are not looking for a relationship and just want to have fun, without being considered dirty or dishonorable. On the other hand, women who sleep with multiple partners are often considered to be “slutty.” With the changing times, though, and the popularity of shows like Sex and the City, Grey’s Anatomy, and Cougar Town, successful women who aren’t interested in settling down or having children are becoming more and more the norm.

So, yes, a woman can be a player, without being a slut. The only part of the definition that should be changed is “supposedly exclusive.” If a woman (or a man) is comfortable going out and having fun, possibly with multiple partners, the only advice we have is not to tell your partners that they are the only one you are sleeping with. You should let them know that you two aren’t in a relationship, if only so you two continue to practice safe sex. Visiting a site like OnlineBootyCall.com can increase your chances of finding someone who isn’t looking for something exclusive, as their tagline is “Don’t promise marriage just to get a date.”

Being a player is not just for guys anymore!